Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah

t is not a matter of talaaq, I want to break my engagement. I don’t want to marry my cousin any more I want to marry my boyfriend.

· 18 Jumada II 1427 AH2 min readFatwa 14376English

Question

I am only engaged (committed) with my cousin for last 6 years. We are NOT married yet. As we were studying our parents delayed the wedding. So it is not a matter of talaaq, I want to break my engagement. I don’t want to marry my cousin any more I want to marry my boyfriend. My boyfriend’s parents are ready but my parents are opposing strongly as I had been engaged for many years and my boyfriend is outside of our family relatives. I really love my boyfriend and just can’t live without him. I tried to stop talking to him many times for my parents but I was not able to do it. Please read question number 18099 also for complete details. Regarding istikhara, my istikhara came positive but my parents said as my boyfriend is always on my mind so my istikhara is not valid. When my parents did istikhara for me and my boyfriend, nothing came in their thoughts. Please tell me what should I do and give me some dua for sabar and stenghtening my imaan. I am really losing all the hopes as it has been more than 2 years. But I really don’t wanna lose my boyfriend nor my parents. I love them a lot. Jazak Allah

Answer

The acceptance to marry is just a mere promise and nothing more. The marriage has not been done nor are you regarded as his wife. If you do not wish to pursue the marriage with your cousin, you must sit and engage your parents in your difficulty. You should explain to them that if they wish best for you and for your future, they should agree to that which you are happy. If they feel that they will be embarrassed on breaking up the promise to marry your cousin, they should know well that they rather suffer the pain now, then seeing you suffering in a lifelong relationship which you are unhappy about.

This is certainly an emotional battle but you and your parents must approach the issue with your minds and not with your hearts. A hasty decision could land you and your family in great distress and something which is not needed.

Always consult with your seniors as their experience and wisdom will take you a long way.

And Allah Knows Best

Muhammed Zakariyya Desai

Answered by
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai
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Source: Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah — https://askimam.org/public/question_detail/14376
Fatawa SA: https://fatawa.co.za/fatwa/askimam-14376

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