In educating children,I always believed to use the gentle approach as there are lots of nas urging muslims to be gentle(rafiqa).However a friend of mine disagree.He says harsh approach is good also

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In educating children,I always believed to use the gentle approach as there are lots of nas urging muslims to be gentle(rafiqa).However a friend of mine disagree.He says the harsh approach is good also so that the person is being shook up to change.In Islam there are also many instances when the harsh approach is used,e.g. the boycott incident after Tabuk ghazwah.Also Saidina Omar is a harsh person.Is he right? What are the situations where it is better to be harsh than gentle?

Moulana Imraan Vawda · Accepted Answer

We disagree that Sayyiduna Umar (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was harsh. He was stern but not harsh.

All children and all circumstances cannot be dealt in the same light. The general approach to children should be one of gentleness and compassion. However, in some circumstances, sterness and a strict approach is required. This applies when the child is stubborn or rude. This is something which the parent has to tune into. He must get a good understanding of his children, and be able to recognize when the child is being stubborn. In such cases, he should sternly discipline the child. This stern will only be effective if the child is given compassion when he co-operates. The approach is both a stick and carrot technique.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Moulana Imraan Vawda
FATWA DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED CORRECT: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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