What are the steps that must be taken prior of doing istikhara between a boy and a girl? Does boy or girl has to propose first, then after their agreement do istikhara?

The custom varies in different places and background. The most appropriate way to go about is that, first the boy see the girl. Shari'ah has given permission for this. However, this should be taken seriously.

Once a person is seriously interested in marrying, he should see the girl. Thereafter, both the boy and girl should make Istikhaara. According to our custom, the boy makes Istikhaara and if he is interested, he proposes. When the girl receives the proposal, then she makes Istikhaara and if it works and she is interested, then she accepts the proposal.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai